


Naughty Boy

by Fides



Category: The X-Files, Torchwood
Genre: Flash Fic, Gen, Humour, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Outtake, mmom, mmom 2008, mmom 2008: day 24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-25
Updated: 2008-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fides/pseuds/Fides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone has sent Mulder an odd gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Naughty Boy

Mulder regarded the inflatable alien irritably. It was not what he expected to find on his doorstep when he went to put out the trash. He knew his reputation and it didn't bother him most of the time but there were limits. The little post it note attached to the plastic chest was a simple invitation: "Probe me." He wasn't sure which he was more disturbed by; that someone had gone to all the trouble to make something like that as a joke or that someone actually thought he was so desperate that he needed a blow up girlfriend. Assuming it was a girl. Greys were pretty anatomically indistinct. Maybe it was his meandering thoughts about the gender of Greys but it suddenly occurred to him that for a stupid toy the inflatable was surprisingly accurate. Suspiciously so if fact.

Grabbing it, Mulder hauled it inside his flat and shut the door. He ran greedy hands over it, realising to the first time that it was of much better quality than he had initially assumed. The mouth gaped like the alien was modelling for a Munch original, probably screaming about what it expected to be subjected to. Feeling more than a little stupid Mulder inserted to careful fingers into the mouth cavity. The internal area was disturbingly soft to the touch, yielding to his exploration with a stretchy, almost sucking resistance. It would probably feel good wrapped around his cock, not that he had any intention of getting off with the help of the thing. He squashed down the thought, annoyance at himself transmuting into annoyance at finding nothing.

"You're no help," he told the gaping alien.

He was about to throw it away from him when a nasty thought occurred. He turned the alien over and sure enough, the mouth wasn't the only place that the alien could have something hidden about him. However had dropped his little gift of had a sick sense of humour. Feeling he should at least have bought it a drink first Mulder carefully inserted first one finger and then a second into the alien's fake-anus. An almost inaudible bell rang quietly at the back of his mind but he paid it no attention as his fingers brushed against something hard. It took a certain amount of fishing around and contortion, of both himself and the alien, before he managed to get a firm grip on whatever his new friend was using as a butt plug. Object retrieved he propped the alien up on the sofa.

"Hope it was good for you." It was a surprising, and distinctly twisted way of couriering information. He wondered whether it was worth trying to find out who had custom ordered a high-end, alien sex-doll.

The alien said nothing but Mulder was much more interested in the little USB drive with a small red 'T' made up of hexagons emblazoned on it that he had found.


End file.
